Adventures of a Dad flying solo

My sweet wife, and mother to our darling children, left this weekend for a rendezvous with her college girlfriends, while I was left at home to do everything the two-page, bullet point-laden set of instructions commanded me to do, looking me straight in the eyes from its lofty position, magnetized next to the door handle on our refrigerator. I look at all those instructions and deep down I know I have really one job: keep the kids alive. Anything more than that and I might be proven unsuccessful. Here are a couple of stories from today - both concerning Ben, my 2 yr old.

I took my Ben to Barnes and Noble to look at potential Mother's Day gifts. He was cool hanging out in the children's area where a cool train track sits with lots of toy trains to play with. We shopped and played for a little while. I got a gift. We left. Not a parental glitch.

Then we got outside and went to the van. Still cool. I opened the front passenger side door, and placed my bag in the seat. I noticed what looked like cigarette ashes. I brushed them out, wondering what in the world they could be. We don't smoke...but whatever.

Then I opened the side door for Ben to hop in. The door was really sluggish. I was having to push it to keep it going. Now, we don't have an automatic opener. We're old school and still have to do things - like open car doors - manually. I just thought the heavy rains lately might have had something to do with it...but whatever.

Finally, I picked up to place him in his car seat, but it was gone! I looked across the van to the other seat, and saw a booster where it should be, but it wasn't ours. I looked again in the front, and realized I was totally breaking in to someone else's Nissan Quest. I quickly strained to shut the sliding uncooperative sliding door, thinking someone is going to "catch" me. Strange how I felt totally guilty...like when you're on the internet, minding your own business, and some suggestive picture from an ad comes up (and in my business there is extra sensitivity towards this kind of thing).

Anyway, I picked Ben up, and moved down a few cars ... shew! There was our van.

I quickly pulled out the remote unlock from my keyring, pressed the unlock button twice (by this time we are standing directly in front of the van), and immediately our van's alarm goes off! Ben loses it. (And it scared me to death too!) I get him into his seat, and head to the driver's seat, thinking this will all be over soon.

Then I remembered, I left my bag in their front seat!

I had to go back over there, risk getting "caught", actually take something out of the van, and leave in mine. I was a nervous breakdown.


That is story one. Story two is quite endearing (and much shorter).

When we got home from our breaking and stealing escapade, it was lunch time. Ben said he was hungry, so I asked him, "For what?"

He responded, "Shin-shank".

"What buddy?", I replied.

"Shin-shank."

"What?"

"Buack-buack! Shin-shank!"

"Oh!, Chiken!!", I laughed.

It's been a great day to be a daddy.